And we need to accept and to acknowledge that.
I wrote about emotional avoidance on my social media this morning, and I think it’s the story that has brought me the most reactions inbox. So many of you replied !
And I was like well, shit ! Maybe I need to talk about this some more !
Sis, this personal development thing has done a number on us, hear me ? We have been inundated with messages about manifestation, staying positive all the times, being grateful at all time, that it almost feels blasphemous to acknowledge that sometimes, life is just shitty and we are not having a good time at the moment.
We have been spirituality bypassing our own emotions, and gaslighting ourselves into thinking that not focusing on our issues will make them disappear somehow.
They tell us “what you put your attention on will expand”. Well, God forbid we put our attention on our messes ! We certainly don’t want them to expand! So we pretend. We pretend we are fully happy. We fake our gratitude till we make it real somehow.
Look here, the relationship with our friends, our kids, our parents are broken but listen, we should be grateful we have a good job and a good health, right? Complaining just sounds petty and ungrateful. So we sweep our trash under the beautiful rug and ignore it, until the smell starts making us sick.
What we don’t want to see is that we have to work through the mess to make it go away.
Yes we need to put our attention to our messes (I did not say solely focus on it), letting it expand maybe, and immerse ourselves in it in order to purge it from our lives.
How are we going to get rid of our fears if we don’t acknowledge them and don’t talk to them?
How are we supposed to get rid of our pains if we ignore them?
How good is our gratitude if it’s tinged with bitterness and frustration?
Why don’t we realize that not acknowledging our hurts is lacking humility as human beings? It means not wanting to admit that little old us can feel anger, jealousy, pettiness, and all those messy sentiments that simply make us human.
Yes, dealing with our trash and messes is painful. It can hurt real bad.
But I personally don’t want to live in a stinking house, so let me go face my trash, sort it out and get rid of it for good.